| I just want this week to end... NOW! |
[12 Jan 2009|11:15pm] |
I know I'm never on here, not anymore at least, and usually when I am, it's when I'm down or upset.
Well this is just like any other occasion.
This week has started off just perfectly dandy and amazingly awesome (not).
- Sunday I wake up to find out the guy I really like and have been [kinda casually] seeing (for a while) has broken things off with me (for good enough reasons, but still it hurt)
- Today I find out that one of my good friends (and my gym partner up here) is dropping out of University next year and moving back to Toronto to go to college
- As well, at least two of my roomies want to move out next year and despite their reasoning, it is killing me since I don't want to move, and finding people to move in with me is going to be terribly hard
I wonder what else the week will bring...hopefully nothing more, I'm stressed and depressed to the max right now from these three (seemingly) small things.
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| gahh |
[30 Jun 2008|08:07pm] |
I don't get people
I don't get boys
I don't want to attempt to understand anyone anymore
I don't want to invest anymore emotions into anyone
I don't want anything but to have someone be completely honest with me and not give me a million and a half excuses, all being lies, and then tell me their true thoughts later
I don't like people who overreact to a simple comment
I don't like being mad (it's rare) but it bothers me, I could honestly be a danger to society
I don't get why people are so different to you when they're not face to face, man up and tell me what you think in person, or NOT AT ALL
I don't like when doctors can't be bothered to get back to you at all on anything
I really just need someone to sit on the swings at a park with me and have a bitch-out, and tell me when I'm being unreasonable
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| The top 13 things I've learned this school year. |
[14 Dec 2007|03:01am] |
1. Not everyone is available to call 24-hours a day, if you need to talk to someone, you sure as hell better hope you catch them when they're around ---especially if it is an emergency.
2. Going to the bars is not always a good thing, it may result in memory loss (of that night), puking and possibly kissing your neighbor.
3. When you procrastinate an assignment by even one night, it results in a hellish amount of stress and doing the assignment the night before it is due ---till 7am.
4. Not everyone is who you think they are, ---even if you spent the entire summer hanging out with them, as soon as they catch you at a weak point, they'll use it to their advantage.
5. Bills raise as the months get closer to Christmas, ---even if you don't use the phone
6. Accounting is the devils work, ---enough said.
7. You will never know claustrophobia until you are inside the foyer of the athletic complex waiting to get in to your exam.
8. Cooking is fun, you can incorporate a lot of creativity with little....but dishes never get that way, the most fun you can have is re-writing common songs to fit with "I hate dishes"
9. When you think a day is bad, ---it can always get a lot worst, and will continue to do so until you're completely broken down or learn to accept it
10. No matter how annoying a hyper dog can get sometimes, you realize how much you love having her around at any other point ---especially when you come in from the cold and you less than pleasant.
11. A two-hour long distance relationship doesn't seem that long when you're at least a 3-day drive from your significant other ---and the distance seems a lot bigger when you can't get a hold of him
12. Fish are the best way to waste a few hours without noticing it.
13. Good neighbors are the best people you can meet.
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| it's just one of those days. |
[18 Nov 2007|03:34am] |
*sighs*
I honestly don't know what I want in life anymore, I have no clue who I am, if I'm actually content in my so-called relationship, or even if I like myself.
School day-by-day is becoming more and more of a meaningless, pointless thing, going on and on, flying past me everyday, without any actual relationship to my life, besides my parents money, and me sitting in class not actually there mentally, but physically. I have no clue what I want to do in life anymore, what I want to be...I mean I spent the longest time wanting to be involved in the film/photography industry...but that didn't work out due to lack of university degree for that at Trent, and my immense fear of moving schools and having to meet new people, and actually move again. The other big job I wanted to be involved in was the Funeral Business,..morbid I know, but it interests me, I wouldn't have to deal with many people to stress me out, only those that are grieving/mourning or those that are corpses. But yet again, another obstacle stands in my way, my parents. They (really my mother) decided I was not allowed to go to college, that I was not (and still am not) allowed to become a funeral director/mortician. So I changed my choices to fit into my settings and chose psychology...which failed miserably after the almost failing of psychology 100, and I moved on to my next interest....International Development and the United Nations... but even that isn't seeming to appeal to me, mostly because I know I'll never make it that far, my university is not ranked very highly.
On top of all this, I have an anxiety disorder...the definition that comes to mind to most people when they hear "anxiety disorder" is panic attacks and the like, but really thats a panic disorder. An anxiety disorder means that the individual (in this case me) has overly high levels of emotion, whether they be sadness, anger, happiness, or even just nervousness. It is generally not diagnosed as it usually consists of a series of symptoms of things found in ADD, manic depression, to some extent bipolar and of course my well-known one, insomnia.
Normally I can deal with all of it pretty well, but lately with my increased feelings of the total meaningless of my life, its actually bumming me out pretty badly.
I just want to be home...in whitby, not around my family really...and have everything the way it was when I was younger when I had Kaits to see whenever I wanted and we could talk for hours about teddy grahams, or playing soul caliber II with Elliott (..and losing horribly, but still having fun with it), and shopping with Jack when neither of us could really afford to spend alot of money (yet we did anyways).
On top of that, I have no clue what's going on in my relationship, I constantly have a gut feeling that Joao just keeps his true thoughts from me because he doesn't want to hurt me, and that he is just too busy to call me alot because he really isn't sure if he wants to be with me anymore...maybe I'm overanalyzing everything (maybe he is too tired from all the work he's been doing lately), and I should probably build my trust up in him again...but I don't even know if that's possible anymore...maybe I should be a bachlorette forever...at least then I wouldn't have to deal with the stress of men?
...and this doesn't even scratch the surface of everything...
maybe I am too complicated...
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| It's all the same. |
[05 May 2007|01:45am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 gloomy |
] |
I found the Perfect song for me, and how I feel at this time, the limbo I feel like I'm floating in. I know my feelings, but I don't know the other side of all this. Maybe I am as Fletcher pointed out, maybe I do never smile, and when I do, it's only for a few seconds, and then I go back to my emotionless visage... I'm ALWAYS unhappy now-and-days, there was a point where I was really happy with how things were going, not even that long ago, but that got ruined, by me, as I assume, yet again.
Maybe it is as Pieter said, I look like I'm crying inside, I am, I'm always too proud to admit it though, I don't like having everyone pay attention to me, I don't like everyone trying to help, I want the ONE person or couple people to talk to me, to try and mend things, so I'm not like this...but not everything can be mended.
Today I was sick, sick to my stomach, with a huge headache to boot, it was horrible, and when my grandfather came to pick me up because I was seeing the room spinning, he definately knew that the cause of it is unrested thoughts/emotions and stress. I want to break down and cry my eyes out to someone, particularly Hancock, because he always gives good advice, but I screwed that one up royally, and I doubt I could ever have it fixed. In this dilemma, I feel like I'm stuck, with no one to turn to who will give me good and helpful advice that will help me to try to fix everything, everything that I have inevitably screwed up, as I always do.
"All The Same" by Sick Puppies.
I dont mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
But I dont like illusions I cant see
Them clearly
I dont care, no I wouldn't dare
To fix the twist in you
You've shown me eventually what you'll do
I dont mind
I dont care
As long as you're here
[Chorus]
Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It's all the same
Hours slide and days go by
Till you decide to come
But in-between it always seems too long
Suddenly
But I have the skill, yeah
I have the will, to breath you in while I can
However long you stay is all that I am
I dont mind, I dont care
As long as you're here
Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It's always the same
Wrong or Right
Black or White
If I close my eyes
Its all the same
In my life
The compromise
I'll close my eyes
Its all the same
Go ahead say it
You're leaving
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are now
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same
On top of all this, I feel guilty for writing out my very emotional rants, when really, in the perspective of all this, this is insignificant, I don't have the problems to deal with that my friends do, mine are mostly in the past, and just haunt me through unrest, and cause my present to be very awkward, random, and skewed.
At least I have my Cheshire Cat stuffed animal to comfort me.
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| The Getaway, and other dramatic stuff. |
[29 Apr 2007|12:49am] |
"Here I am again
Talking to myself
Sitting at a red light
Both hands on the wheel
How am I supposed to feel?
So much running through my mind
First you wanna be free
Now you say you need me
Giving mixed signals and signs
It's so hard to let you in
Thinking you might slam the brakes again
Put the pedal down
Heading out of town
Gotta make a getaway
The traffic in my brain's
Driving me insane
This is more than I can take
You tell me that you love me first
Then throw your heart into reverse
I gotta get away
I can't keep coming back to you
Every time you're in the mood
To whisper something sweet in my ear
It's so hard to move on
Cause every time I think you're gone
You show up in my rearview mirror
Is this just a detour?
Cause I gotta be sure
That you really mean what you say
It's so hard to let you in
Thinking you might slam the brakes again
Put the pedal down
Heading out of town
Gotta make a getaway
The traffic in my brain's
Driving me insane
This is more than I can take
You tell me that you love me first
Then throw your heart into reverse
I gotta get away
To a place where I can be redefined
Where you're out of sight
And you're out of mind
But the truth is I can't even say goodbye
Here I am again
Talking to myself
Sitting at a red light
Both hands on the wheel
How am I supposed to feel?
So much running through my mind
Put the pedal down
Heading out of town
Gotta make a getaway (a getaway)
The traffic in my brain's
Driving me insane
This is more than I can take (I can take)
You tell me that you love me first
Then throw your heart into reverse
I gotta get away"
-- The Getaway, by Hilary Duff.
The thing is, I don't know how anyone feels about me anymore, I'm fucking confused. The people I actually really want/need to talk to, don't talk to me. And none of them will tell me what I've done, which is really bothering me. On top of that, it seems like no one seems to notice or care when I'm upset, except Brendan (Fletcher) and Elliott, Jack has his own problems so most of the time telling him would be pretty useless, and the other times, he doesn't notice either. Sometimes I think everyone (even my own mother and father) want to by oblivious to my sadness, I've even cried in front of them, and yet, I get nothing. The sad thing is, with Elliott I have to tell him I'm upset, and he's one of my best friends, Brendan can tell from my tone of typing, even when it's the exact same words I use every other day, he just,...knows and cares, it's nice in that sense. He even offered to throw me a birthday party because he knows how upset I am that EVERYONE around here seems to be too busy to spend any time with me on my 19th birthday, or if they will consider giving time, I have to share it with a significant other of theirs. Even my own boyfriend probably can't spend the day with me. And how am I supposed to react to this? does everyone just expect me to be happy? So far if all goes well, I'm going to Ottawa for my birthday, to spend the weekend with my godmother, and hopefully see everyone there (although I don't seem to be able to talk to Paul, or a few others, so maybe it won't be as nice as I hoped), although just spending it with my godmother will suffice, I suppose.
I'm just, breaking down, nothing is going well with me these days, plans are falling to shit, a job is no where to be found, some friends have just disappeared off the face of the earth, others have decided to not talk to me, my parents seem to enjoy keeping me inside all day every day, only letting me out to job-hunt, and the two times I put up complaints this weekend,...I don't even know what to do anymore, I need my psychologist, I need people to be around me more than they have been, I need a bunch of things, but no one really gets what they need right?
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| HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND OTHER MOGULS |
[11 Apr 2007|09:44pm] |
Today marked an important mogul in my life, the first final exam of university...Cultural studies exam, open-book and I think I did well....although I'm already guaranteed to fail that course so I would have been just as well to miss the exam...
That being said, today also marks the important day in the life of another individual, one who has been my friend for about 4 years now, was my MUN partner, and is exactly ONE month older than me....
That's right, this is for my dearest Claire-chan!!!!!!!!1 ♥ ♥ ♥ I love you and happy 19th!!!!!!! Hopefully it goes excellently, and everything falls into place. Even though we hardly ever see each other or talk, I miss you and I promise we'll chill to our hearts content in the summer.
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| Let's see... |
[23 Mar 2007|05:49am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 guilty |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Falco ~ Putting on the Ritz |
] |
There has been alot that has gone on since last time, and I'll shorten it to the important things:
DECEMBER:Christmas:
- Montreal for Grandparents X-mas party/bars with Kristen & my sis
- Tremblant for Christmas, home on the 28th, partied with Russia and friends
- New Years with Katie...and Marc (Sorry Katie ♥ you know I love you)
JANUARY:
- went to see Marc at Guelph/Aymann in Toronto
- Saw Cradle of Filth with Ryan and his friend in Toronto =)
- Dated Ryan for a short amount of time.
FEBRUARY:
- Marc came to visit me
- Ryan took me out for Valentine's day lunch and bought me chocolates, even though we were no longer dating....and I spent the night at Brads
- Saw DIR EN GREY in concert, which made my life right there, as soon as I see Gwen in May (Hopefully) then I will have no need to live =P
- Reading Break with times at Tremblant (complete with absolutely wonderful spa time), 3 days at home, and a MUN conference in Toronto (where I met some amazingly wonderful people...and had some GOOD times)
- Joao helped me unpack when we got back =D (he wanted to help me pack, but I didn't have time -_-")
MARCH:
- I went on my date with Andrew, and got to spend time with Pieter Kamps
- Hung out with Elliott =)
- Joao practically lived here (in my room) for a week
- Kelvin came up for formal =)
- Joao and I started dating
- Celebrated st. Patrick's day with mostly Joao...and a few hours with John
- I have a new psychologist (and yes I really don't care if people know, I'm proud that I actually stood up and did it for myself)
Above is a picture of Joao and I.
Now things around him seem perfect, he makes me happy, he always makes me smile. But in my perfect world, there is alot troubling me...like certain people, who seem to make me feel like I shouldn't be in a relationship. One of them has admitted he's jealous, he's jealous of the fact that another boy has me. The other, seems to ignore that I have a boyfriend, and then when I remind him, he appologizes and not even a minute later is pestering me again. The third, doesn't seem to acknowledge the fact that a) I'm in a relationship, and b) I'm not interested in him, really not many females are, he just seems...full of himself, for some reason he has it in his mindset that he needs to get me in bed, which sure as hell won't happen. He only does this because the second guy whos bothering me is closer to me, and he's jealous of the fact that his friends can go after and get females, and truthfully, he can't.
Normally I'd try to brush this away and leave it for another day, but lately, I've been in this funk, one where it seems, everything is my fault for some reason, like tonight for instance, Bother-boy #2 asked me to keep him company while he went out for a smoke, that's fine, and then we both pointed out that we rarely see each other anymore, and that's fine, and so we agreed that I'd come over and watch movies with him.....all was going fine until he started getting bored of the movie...and decided that for some reason it was in his range to try and get down my pants. GAHHHHH and now I feel guilty for watching movies with him in the first place, nothing happened, but still, I just feel bad, and to add to the depression spells I've been sinking into lately, this is definately NOT helping, especially since all I can smell now is the cologne he drowns himself in.
In other words, I really want to cry right now, and I never cry, the first time someones seen me cry here was on Tuesday night when I was severely depressed and cried to John for three hours straight.
I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but I don't know what else to feel. Violated? Hurt? confused? angry?
I just don't know anymore....everything is up in the air
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| woah this has been a while... |
[19 Dec 2006|12:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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bored |
] |
Where to begin?
October: There was reading week, which was fun, I suppose. I cannot remember in detail all I did, I know I spent almost $150 on everything, I went out for coffee with Ben. I went to a hallowe'en party hosted by Mike's cousin with Mike, that was fun, OMG best costume ever...The guy in the Twister costume (you know, Twister the game). Hallowe'en in res was fun, there was a party in E house (some people went downtown to parties though). O I dyed my hair fushia, but that happened before the last post.
November: There was Grad, which was weird in some sorts, alot of people I walked by were all "Is that Lauren?!?" like I had changed so much, which I really didn't see...o well that's life. After grad I didn't go to any big parties at all, instead I spent part of the evening with Elliott (in his house/chilling in the van) and the other part with Dave & Alex at Alex's. Other than that, I don't remember much else I did that weekend. I came home about two weekends later (for really no other purpose than to see elliott and let amber and her boyfriend have time to themselves) to have to go with my mother to pick up a severely drunk sister at Nikki's house right away, and then later chilled with Hancock, and went to his friends with him...and then chilled with him most of the night in my basement. The next day my parental unit took me and my sis to the Yorkdale mall so that we could go x-mas shopping. That night, Jamie took me out for Thai food, dessert and a movie (yay Borat), and then we watched part of Blow at Jamie's house.
December so far: I got sick upon arriving back, and ended up with my father driving me to the hospital on Wednesday and staying there overnight with me until late the next afternoon/evening. I got to have my first IV ever =P but I also was severely dehydrated (not being able to swallow fluids without barfing them up can do that to you), and had a stomach/intestinal infection caused by this stupid virus going around. I got back to uni with medication to keep my stomach from rejecting everything, and a note to say that I am not to write my exam on the saturday (IDS exam) and I am not to write an essay yet (the one that was due on the friday). I slept all thursday night and most of friday, but my body experienced one of the side effects of the medication that is very rare and very bad. So my father came and picked me up saturday morning so I could get better and rest at home, but we first had to go to the hospital....yay to more IVs....gahh I ended up with ugly bruises, a sore back (from the stupid beds), and freezing cold from the blankets. After the hospital I got home and basically rested and relaxed the weeekend, and my grandparents drove me back on the Tuesday. I had my politics exam on Thursday (that I think I did well on), and came back home on Friday evening. I ended up going to see elliott that night, and we went to Wendy's =D. Saturday I err slept, and got a new winter jacket!!!!! yay its orange!!!!! Saturday night Jamie and I went out for coffee, and then started watching Kill Bill v.1 (since I had never seen it before). Sunday I got woken up early...did some studying... and went to visit Hancock at work, followed by shoppers shopping. And Lastly, yesturday I woke up, drove my dad to the train station, and my sister to school; went on a search for fishnet stockings (not thigh high ones of footless tights like seems to be popular); went shopping quickly with Jack for x-mas; and went to get my hair done (yay its all different now!); went out to Chapters (x2) with Marc and then went out for dinner with the fam at Jack Astor's by AMC (gahh, I saw the umm err hot former waitor for east side's Neil last night....which was weird...because it took me forever to recognize him when he recognized right away). I then spent the rest of the night (minus like 20 minutes) like a loser studying, and then went out for a umm walk at 12:30ish. Today I've essentially done nothing important, a little studying and a lot of lounging around.
YAY two exams to go! and double-yay! I am driving up to Peterborough tonight!
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| The eventful weekend of sorts (including early Friday morning) |
[15 Oct 2006|02:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
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music |
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Anti-Flag~> Underground Network |
] |
So on Friday morning at like 12:30am Mike and I went back to mix pear martinis in his room....yay I learned to mix a new drink! anyways, after stealing his doorstop, stealing a glow-in-the-dark skeleton from Andrew, and after we were finished mixing drinks and messing around on Mike's computer it was about 4am, and I decided to go back to my room for some shut-eye. Unfortunately, my key for OC is the bitch key and definately does not open the front OC doors, nor does it open the Wenjack doors, so basically I got the exciting fun trip of walking in the dark, cold weather around the ENTIRE OC building to go through the back doors....Godd do you have any idea how creeeppyy our campus is at that time of night???
Anyways I got back, and promptly passed out =) ooo nice sleep...apparently turned off my alarm in the morning in my sleep, and slept in tilll 2:47pm....which means I basically missed International Development Studies. Which I didn't really care about. Amber and I then missioned to Walmart...and picked up some yummy food...and orange nailpolish. Then we walked down Chemong to Tim Hortons, hoping to catch a bus around there, but no dice, and I had a sandwich. We ended up walking down to where the Trent Express comes, and caught the bus there. We got back and everyone was preparing to go to the house party, and after a few moments of hesitation I decided to go.
We got there and it wasn't bad, upstairs they have a fucking HUGE television, and people were playing Smash Brothers on it =). I ended up going outside and talking to the person who used to live in Will's room, fuck that was a long convo. either way, when I got back in, basically everyone I came with had left...and fucking retarded Rob didn't listen to what the people who live in the house said, and took my stuff with him....his excuse at the time was that I was apparently wandering around drunk on the town and maybe I ended up back at Uni (you know, without ANY of my stuff....real smart...IDIOT!), then when he got back to res he told Kristina and Jeff that the reason he brought my stuff back was because I was apparently inside the house upstairs hooking up with a random...HA!
Anyways, this means to anyone who has paid attention that I was stranded there with no coat or purse (the purse that contains the cell, the bus pass, the wallet,....EVERYTHING)...but the nice people there let me spend the night, and I even got a bed to sleep on =). I was very upset and wanting to kill Rob but that wouldn't solve my dilemma now would it? In the morning the Jeff guy let me use his computer to go online (and I was hoping to talk to Amber, but she was asleep....so I asked Jeff to meet me in the link with my stuff at 1)...and then I got on the bus (after informing the bus driver that I didn't have my bus pass with me) and she lectured me slightly, but I got back to Res happily.
Jeff and Jen M. met me in the Link (thanks guys ♥) with my stuff....in Rob's bag....and my purse was open....what the hell did he think he was doing when he fucking opened my purse?!?!?! Either way I got back to res pretty calm, I just figured I'd avoid Rob at all costs. That worked for the most part....until...
Rob was coming down the hall when I was on my way to talk to Jeff I think. I told him to "stay the fuck away from me!" apparently I surprised everyone with my loudness.
He then replied with "okay, you whore!"...in which case I just fucking snapped, honestly you don't fucking take my stuff and expect me not to be pissed...honestly my purse contains EVERYTHING important..and then to call me a whore....who the hell does he think he is???!!!!?!?!?
Either way I kicked him and went to punch him but he blocked it. Then I told him that "you don't ever fucking call me a fucking whore" and then I told him to appologize...he then started rambling about why he took my stuff...and I told him I was right in the fucking backyard...he claims he looked there....FAT FUCKING CHANCE....either way I kept telling him to appologize and he wouldn't fast enough...so I slapped him..and his glasses went flying...and he appologized =) but as soon as I went to walk down the hall he said "you asshole"...and apparently went and cried in Jeff/Will's room...and LIED to Jeff/Will about what happened when I had Amber, Jen, Sinead, Nicole, & Sam watching, and Leanne heard the entire thing...and came out following it.
Then Jen, Sinead, Nicole, Amber and I went downtown, Amber and I went to Chapters (where I finished all my main x-mas shopping) and the rest went to East Sides. Anyways we took FOREVER at Chapters and I went to Starbucks!!!!!!!1 yum-yum-yum. We waited...and waited...and waited some more for the bus...until FINALLY it came...and we got to go back home =)...where everyone else was getting on the bus as we were getting off because they were going to the kegger I was supposed to go to....o well, I talked to Taggart, Jeff and Ben. Then Ben and I went to watch movies..and for a while we were joined by Jeff, Kevin, Paul....yep..THE END!
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| le weekend. |
[26 Sep 2006|04:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
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bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Stone Sour ~> Through the Glass |
] |
Let me start by telling you a story of how one Jack managed NOT to come up to see me:
It was a cold rainy thursday in Peterborough, and Jack was supposed to be making his way to see me. But first off, he missed the first Greyhound, by missing the first durham transit bus,...due to sleep. Next he missed the second Greyhound because he didn't know that there is a bus station in Oshawa -_- after I clearly said where he was to go. O well, so he went to the Oshawa GO station, and then had to take a cab home, which took half of his trip money. So I sat at the Greyhound station for 30minutes waiting for a person who never came. My roommate had left earlier that day so I had the room all too myself.
Friday night ended up being one huge fucking party, and the very annoying kid down the hall was completely shit-faced...and told me to shut the fuck up...when I wasn't talking to him, or talking loudly...so I slapped him =). Friday we also went downtown, Kristina and I ended up getting pitas after the adventure and we stopped at dominos and called to order, RIGHT OUTSIDE THE STORE! we got back and Will's roommate Jeff (plus the annoying kid's roommate Jon) took care of a barfing Rob (a.k.a. annoying kid), and washed his soiled stuff. Jono's friend ended up sleeping in Amber's (my roommate) bed, and he was my saviour in the morning and woke me up for the dodgeball tournament...30 minutes before it started....fuck what a rush.
But I made it. And we won. And better yet, the other team cheated x1000...victory was sweet. And Will was batman, Paul was Robin and I was Poison Ivy...the rest of the team slacked on the agreed costume front....wOOt WooT can you say best costume prize?
Saturday night was a kegger, but since some people took too long to get ready *ahem* Will...we ended up staying in and partying for Jen's birthday. I made glass noodles! =) Paul and I went glass-noodle-fishing. and somehow our house gained a ton of randoms...making out everywhere....half of them had boyfriends/girlfriends, and Sinead ended up with Matt (Jono's friend). The best part is that I left the party room (Will & Jeff's room is the party room during the week generally) before it got too hot in temperature, and before "The Weed Game" was brought out again, so I avoided doing another striptease =), although apparently I am the best. I left the party room for my room (down the hall), and somehow I gained a party to myself just by going to cook food, and sit in my spacious room.
I should probably include somewhere that my Don was out for the evening with her boyfriend, which made this easier to happen, although she generally isn't a nazi on anything like that.
Sunday went by fast....sleep...lunch...downtown for supplies...pot luck bbq for the house...Will picked me a mushroom =)...relaxing,...roommate comes back! ♥
Today wasn't much better, stayed up to do German...sleep...alarm (snooze button)...sleep...alarm (snooze button)...sleep...alarm (snooze button)...awake...shower...lunch....reading....reading...reading...psych lecture...postering....dinnner...reading...laundry...tv...reading...laundry...tv....slacking.
Don't we all love Mondays?
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| Uni update #1 |
[19 Sep 2006|04:37am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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No Doubt ~> It's my life |
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Honestly, It is awesome here <3 loving it.
I've pulled four all-nighters in a row in the last week, had a full night of hanging with Jordan & Matty ♥, went cake shopping (and found peterborough's fabricland =D), missed the house movie night because I was chilling with Matty, went shopping with Amber (the roommate) like 4 nights in a row, gone to the bars, gone to a kegger, had a movie night with the people who actually stayed this weekend (& concluded that movie night with stealing all the signs from the other houses, AND our college/res sign....then breakfast AS SOON AS THE CAF OPENED on Sunday morning), and found at least 3 sex shops =P.
AWESOME!
My room is killer, and clean =).
And the cream of the news crop---- I'm seeing Jack on Thursday!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, the REAL cream of the news crop is that we have a university-wide dodgeball tournament on Saturday, and my team's theme is Batman (the B house, is the Bathouse...so it makes sense....although we are putting 3 teams in the tournament o.O).....The best part of all this is that I, yes I get to be Poison Ivy, fuck she's attractive. (not as hott as Catwoman, but I don't have the resources to find liquid black latex body paint in like half a week). =) I have a killer team! ♥
My classes are all my faves due to different standards, the most fun/funny is German, the best for content is Politics, the best for readings is Psychology, the best for fun activities and fun content is Cultural Studies (honestly who can beat watching Memento, and Wizard of Oz...amoung others...in class?!?), and my fave in terms of having the most people that I know and talk to in it is International Studies. ♥ yes I'm a nerd...but no I haven't finished my readings. -_-"
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[28 Aug 2006|08:48am] |
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mood |
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hyper |
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music |
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Ministry of Sound - Trance Nation volume 4 - cd 1 |
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WOOT WOOT!!!!!! FAMILY VALUES TOUR TODAY!!!!!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ OMG DIR EN GREY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥ *swoons*
Can you tell I'm hyper/happy/excited-as-fuck??!??
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| so the decision is made, for all who don't know. |
[13 Aug 2006|05:21pm] |
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 cheerful |
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Tomcraft ~> Overdose. |
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I, Lauren Cruess, am officially in Trent University (in Peterborough) as of September 4th, 2006.
I will be in the Arts program, and I declare my major in second year (so far it will be psychology).
My classes are: Psychology (lecture from 5pm-6:50pm on Mondays), German (lecture from 5pm-6:50pm Tuesday, and 5pm-6:50pm Wednesday), Modern Culture (lecture from 9am-11:50am on Wednesday), Politics (lecture from 3pm-4:50pm on Thursday), and Human Inequality in a Global Perspective (lecture from 1pm-2:50pm on Fridays)....seminars and labs are assigned on the first day of class.
I am in Otonabee College (residence)...not my first choice, but it isn't TOO bad...it does have the largest and best cafeteria on campus, and I can order food to be brought up to my room =P and it has the psychology department downstairs...and is like a 30 seconds walk from Gzowski (good residence where Dave, Mary and Matt are staying), so it's not like I'll die of lonelyness.
YAY to University! and yay to the fact that I get two reading weeks, one begins the week of October 23rd.
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| Protein Sources...for those who say not eating meat does not allow you to have enough protein. |
[23 Jul 2006|03:31pm] |
While just about every vegetarian food contains some protein, the soybean deserves special mention, for it contains all the essential amino acids and surpasses all other food plants in the amount of protein that it can deliver to the human system. In this regard, it is nearly equal to meat. The human body is able to digest 92 percent of the protein found in meat and 91 percent of that found in soybeans. The many different and delicious soy products (such as tempeh, soy “hot dogs” and “burgers,” Tofutti brand “ice cream,” soy milk, and tofu) available in health and grocery stores suggest that the soybean, in its many forms, can accommodate a wide range of tastes.
Other rich sources of non-animal protein include legumes, nuts, seeds, yeast, and freshwater algae. Although food yeasts (“nutritional yeast” and “brewer’s yeast”) do not lend themselves to forming the center of one’s diet, they are extremely nutritious additions to most menus (in soups, gravies, breads, casseroles, and dips). Most yeasts get about 50 percent of their calories from protein.
Percentage of Calories From Protein
(Value per 100 Grams Edible Portion, From USDA National Nutrient Database for Standard Reference, 2003)
LEGUMES
Garbanzo beans 21%
Kidney beans 58%
Lentils 34%
Lima beans 24%
Navy beans 37%
Soybeans 35%
Split peas 29%
GRAINS
Barley 14%
Brown rice 8%
Buckwheat 15%
Millet 12%
Oatmeal 17%
Rye 18%
Wheat germ 26%
Wheat, hard red 15%
Wild rice 16%
VEGETABLES
Artichokes 28%
Beets 15%
Broccoli 33%
Brussels sprouts 31%
Cabbage 24%
Cauliflower 32%
Cucumbers 17%
Eggplant 17%
Green peas 27%
Green pepper 17%
Kale 26%
Lettuce 36%
Mushrooms 56%
Mustard greens 41%
Onions 9%
Potatoes 18%
Spinach 50%
Tomatoes 19%
Turnip greens 20%
Watercress 84%
Yams 5%
Zucchini 30%
FRUITS
Apple 2%
Banana 5%
Cantaloupe 10%
Grape 4%
Grapefruit 8%
Honeydew melon 6%
Orange 8%
Papaya 6%
Peach 9%
Pear 3%
Pineapple 4%
Strawberry 8%
Tangerine 6%
Watermelon 8%
NUTS AND SEEDS
Almonds 15%
Cashews 13%
Filberts 9%
Peanuts 18%
Pumpkin seeds 18%
Sesame seeds 12%
Sunflower seeds 16%
Walnuts, black 15%
As the above chart demonstrates, protein deficiency need not be a concern for vegans. If we ate nothing but wheat, oatmeal, or potatoes, we would easily take in more than enough protein.
http://www.peta.org/mc/factsheet_display.asp?ID=105
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| The Hardest Decision of my life...to date. |
[21 Jul 2006|05:08am] |
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music |
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- watching Clueless the movie - |
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Brock or Trent? that is what it all boils down to, and the decision must be made by the 28th at the very very very latest. Why o why has this decision become so hard? why does is cloud my thoughts?
At both I'd be taking Psychology. At Trent I'd have enough friends from around here to make me happy, at Brock I've already made one friend after a day of orientation. Brock is about 2 hours away, Trent is about 45-50 minutes away. Brock I'm in kickass townhouse residence, Trent I hear back as to what residence I'm in by about Tuesday. Trent has two reading weeks, Brock has one. Brock has more course selections, Trent is very limited. Brock has a bigger student population, Trent has a smaller student population. And I'd be completely happy at both.
What is everyone else's opinion as to where I should go?
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| Wedding....amongst other crap. |
[09 Jul 2006|03:09am] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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Mx ~ Deftones |
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This evening, I went with Dave and his family to Dave's cousin Kelly's wedding. It was actually the best wedding I've ever been to, it was exciting, interesting, funny and part of might have been that I wasn't with my family. It was shorter then the others I've been to/in and it got everything done. The reception was beautiful and super-cool (candy table anyone =D). ....but witnessing this wedding and the jointness of this couple, how well they seemed to go together, made me think....Most girls can slightly imagine what they would want their wedding to be like by the age of about 10, whereas, the furthest I've ever been able to think about is the fact that I would rather have pina coladas instead of wine, and even that is now in question. Although it may be a very very very long time off, whenever I think about marriage, I cannot imagine myself at all getting married, at all committing to one person for that long. Whenever I've felt strongly about someone in the past I've screwed it up or we broke up for some reason....which makes me think that even if I find someone completely perfect for me, I will most likely screw it up...ruining all possibilities of marriage. But enough on that.
Tomorrow is gonna kick fucking huge asss!!!!! World Cup finals! hanging with Krista! and seeing Marc perform his last show in Fare Day Effect...while watching the band in general =D.
Why does time fly? last time I looked at the clock it was 1:04am, it has somehow jumped.
"Let me think, let you think about what? about girls, and what else, and money, and new clothes. and what do I get? thirty nights, uh-huh of violence, yeah and sugar, to love." - Mx, Deftones... i have been obsessively listening to this, as well as "Faster Kill Pussycat" for the past week.
In other news, I saw Pirates of the Carribean 2 on Friday, in full-wench gear. I liked it, but apparently the rest of the theatre hated the ending. I can't wait till the third one comes out!!!!!!!!!
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| quiz time. |
[30 May 2006|10:04pm] |
| You scored as metal.
metal | | 85% | industrial | | 80% | Punk | | 65% | Emo | | 65% | Indie | | 60% | grunge | | 55% | Pop Punk | | 45% | ska | | 45% | classic rock | | 40% | reggae | | 35% | mainstream rock | | 35% | country | | 20% | Pop | | 10% | rap | | 0% | </td>
what breed of music are you?
created with QuizFarm.com |
haha i know I haven't updated in forever....and this is a poor way to update...so once MT and ISUs are over I shall do a proper and formal update..of most things.
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[08 May 2006|05:33pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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Tainted Love <~ Marilyn Manson [music vid] |
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I got my hair done yesturday!!!!!! It's now blue and blonde and brown. =D yay.
my weekend was crazy-busy...fabric shopping, bowling with Jack (can you say fun????), work, shopping for make-up, dinner at the Rainforest Cafe, went to a house party with Jack and Eric...which was 95% homosexuals, got my hair done (while Jack caught up on his sleep), did Musical Theatre hours, and relaxed/did laundry....it would have been perfect minus the family issues.
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